Blogger Beginnings

~documenting precious impressions~

I created this blog for myself, friends, family, and anyone interested in the luminous land of the rising sun. here you will find things that i find fascinating, daily experiences, and downright hilariousness. starting with this:

Yesterday I was watching TV, finding myself understanding Japanese more than ever before, and fascinated by the crazy inventive ideas coming out this well-oiled, never resting, work-a-holic machine of an island.

New products for sale this month:

1. Speechless Spectators DVD

Menu options: Presentation, Meeting, Interview, Speech
So you buy the DVD, from the menu you select...speech, lets say. press play.
Thirty expressionless Japanese men and women in the uniform which is unwritten law for japanese workers (black suit. white button up shirt.) appear on screen. after a moment they sit down. and then, they stare...stare...stare at you. there, you with your speech, written on note cards take a deep breath and deliver your speech to your TV screen. the onlookers challenge you with their silence, reticence, and undeniable ability for keeping a straight face. this carrys on for 10, 20, 30 minutes. enough time for shy consumers to practice giving their speech, or interview, or presentation, or conducting a meeting. i would buy this thing just to watch how long these "actors" can stare into a camera without cracking a smile. me cracking up all the while.

2. Iron-maiden Alarm clock

snooze option? no way
Its a 1km barbell that goes off until sleepyhead consumers pump it thirty times, surely waking up in the process. and getting a workout at that. ah, the shapes and colors of healthy japanese living.

3. Navigating Prospective Theft

GPS system for the car connected with up to date police data that notifies you how "dangerous" the area you are driving in is based on car theft specifics. you wonder why japan is so safe. super advanced communications not policing per se. yea, you can buy lunch with your cell phone, just touch it to the pad and the charge shows up on your cell phone bill. just dont lose the damn thing. on 2nd thought, someone would certainly return it so...

Prescriptions from the Boob-tube
Japan Inside Out

other TV that I enjoyed today was a show where all the top comedians compete for 1,000,000yen, thats like $10,000. the first round the comedian stands on a stage shaped like a half moon, around which a conveyor belt circles. yea like the sushi conveyor belt. except on this one there isnt sushi coming around, but all different kinds of poker faced people (yet again). before the comedian takes stage, 5 people in the audience are randomly selected and the camera shoots to them based on the number that appears on the screen and corresponds with the number tag on their shirt. these sushi specimens keep a straight face while the comedian tries to think of a nickname for them that make 3 of the selected people laugh. it seems like a small task, until you realize that the audience members are equally skilled at keeping a straight face as the sushi specimens and the speech spectators alike. its just downright silly. but one of my favorite comedians Kojima Yoshio who always appears in a speedo was the only winner.
the pure contradiction of how comedians act and dress, or rather dont, is such a stark contrast from japanese people in daily life, that their comic relief is a well-needed dose of daily medicine.

Kojima Yoshio

小島よしお
“そんなの関係ない”
～whats that got to do with it～

my other favorite comedian was the first one to lose on tonights show :(

i swear he's cute when he smiles :)

世界のナベアツ